Where is the popcorn??

I looked out the window and what did I see?

4 inches of snow on the first day of Spring.

Spring has brought me such a big surprise.

Icicles dripping right before my eyes.

I can take an armful and then I'll freeze.

Shoveling the sidewalk is so NOT a breeze.

It was absolutely so, how can it be this thing?

4 inches of snow on the first day of spring.

Yep 4 inches of snow. . .I can't believe it.

Happy St Patricks Day!!

Happy St Patricks Day Everyone!!

This is one of the most fun days of the year.  In our family we do everything green.  We wear green and we eat green.  Tonight we are having Green Eggs and Ham.  Translation--roasted bell pepper and turkey ham quiche.  We are having the missionaries over for dinner tonight.  I can't wait to get pictures of thier reactions.  I will post them soon.  Most of all I wish many blessings on all those around me.

Elder Matt and Change

Matthew sent us a couple of pictures of a family that had 2 sons baptized this past week.  He tells us that other members of this family have become active during the time they have been teaching these boys. 

This is the Kelley Family

The two boys are Donovan and Kuinton Kelley being baptized by their brothers.  Matthew looks well and happy.  It is wonderful the work he is doing.

Other things in my life this past week have been wierd.  Most of the time I feel as if my brain is in a constant whirl, and other times I wonder if I even still have a brain.  Of course I found the perfect brain whirl art.

Actually, I spent most of this past week in the dark with a migraine.  I hate migraines.  I hate the dark.  I am basically a creature of light.  Bill has teased me many times about being a lizzard or cat that could just sit in the sun and be content.  Sometimes I think the reason he picked our home is because our bedroom has 7 large windows.  The room can be totally suffused with light.  This becomes a problem when a migraine strikes.  Then I can NOT even bear even the tinyest bit of light.  We have blinds, but sometimes even that is not enough.  That is when the children cover the windows with thick blankets.  And still it is not enough. . . never enough.  About the only good that comes from these 3-10 day jaunts of darkness, is that I have tons of time to think.  This past time, I decided that I needed to stop fighting the pain.  To sort of ride it like a surf board on a wave.  Did it help?   Sometimes.   I wonder what is the purpose of migraine pain.  Every medicine that they have given me over the years has caused an allergic reaction.  So I endure.  Over the years I have had many tests to try and figure out why I have them.  The only conclusions that are consistant are my own--they come with the storms.  And the purpose?  Just part of the journey that we are all on in this life.  Guess what?  I have a picture for that too.  (For those who wonder about the pictures and feeling things--my GYN told me that I needed to write about my feelings about things that are changing inside me, accept them and find a picture to illustrate them.  This is to help me with this metamorphosis the world calls abrupt menopause.  As it is easier to type then write, and as many of my friends will follow this path, this is where I choose to write about this.)

This picture is actually called "The Journey"

Grandma

Spring 1988

This is my Grandma Viola Martin McComb Crossley.  For those who have heard me talk of her over the years, this is THE grandma.  Today marks the 17th anniversery of her death, and for some reason I miss her more today, than I have for years.  She has been much in my mind over the past months.  She has been and still is the voice in my head when choices must be made, as I wonder what she would do.  In my head I hear her say "Have you taken it to the Lord, Cheryl?"  If I had to sum up her life in one phrase, I believe it would be Love of God and Family.  Shortly after my oldest daughter, Rachel, was born, we had a 4 generation picture taken

 

December 25, 1985

Grandma holding babies is one of my strongest images in my memory.  She loved children.  Shortly after she passed, I wrote this poem. 

My grandma was a woman 

of quite modest means

Yet when grandma died

She left me so many things.

Grandma had so many talents

tinking of them makes me dizzy.

She lived by the adage

keep small hands busy.

Her hands seemed to fly with

crocheting and knitting.

I never once saw her

in a chair just sitting.

She left me a book

having nurtured my love to read

And in my children today

I plant that seed.

She was a great storyteller

just give her a line.

She’d start right there

and loose track of time.

When you had a problem

she said “Here I am!”

And she listened and talked

as we made choke cherry jam.

She taught me to find

beauty in very small things

Like the joy that is found

when to a child one sings

Children were her focus

here whole life through

She nurtured and cared for them

even after they grew.

When I think of my grandma,

I can still feel her love.

And I hope she is smiling

down from heaven above.

When I remember Grandma now, I think of her arms around me as she hugged me and kissed me on the forehead, smelling of vanilla and chocolate chip cookies.  I think of her as I knit--remembering her sitting me down at age 7 and telling me that I needed stillness lessons.  She is all around me, part of who I have become and because of that I am enriched.  Here are just a few pictures of her life with family.

Here she is with my Grandpa McComb, Aunt Mick and Mom on thier laps.

In the kitchen with Aunt Mick.

May 26, 1961

Here she is with mom and aunt Mick at their graduation. 

 

July 3, 1982

She is in the background at a picnic.  She loved picnics and when Uncle Mike and Aunt Jeannine came to town, the world stopped so we could be with them.  We loved it when Uncle Mike came to visit--chores were set aside and fun began.

1988

She was very happy with this picture of her and Grandpa Crossley.  She felt it was a good picture of her. 

Fall 1992

Here she is at the last picnic she was able to enjoy up at Justice park.  She is here with Grandpa Crossley, Mom, my sister Sarah and brother Joe.  Oh how she loved going on a picnic. 

I love you Grandma--Thank you.

One Really Busy Week

Who knew that one week could be so busy.  First, Ethel is doing well at Arbor View.  She seems happy and is adjusting pretty well for a first week.  Here she is with Mandy and Jessica in her room.

Also this week I sent my box to my Ravelry Swap Secret Pal.  I made several things for this box whose theme was St Patricks day--think green, celtic, etc.  For this I knit some fingerless mitts with a braided cable.  This was such a fun pattern, I am making another pair right away.  For those who know me, I don't usually like to do repeat patterns, let along one right after another.  I love the way these feel and look.

I also made some earings and some beaded stitch holders.  I added a few more things, and sent the box.

Finally, yesterday was my birthday.  I spent the day in a rather lazy manner--reading, bubble bath, watching DVD's.  Bill took me to dinner and then we went to a musical.  Jessica is in the pit of Annie Get Your Gun.  It was wonderful!!  To see a play that I was in 27 years ago.  The were better than we were then.  The set design, costumes and even the placement of the orchestra pit, were in the finest manner.  The actors did a wonderful job.  The music arrangement was different than the one I did--less western, more bluesy/jazz.  I loved it.  Even Bill who hates musicals really enjoyed himself. 

Next notice the placement of the band/orchestra.  It is at the back of the stage, set up as if it was wa in the back corner of the big top, just as the band would have been in in the real Wild West show back in the days of when this was patterned after.  It was an inspired choice.  Major thumbs up.

Here is a picture of Jessica at the end of the day. 

  What a great gift for my birthday. 

This Way and That Way

This morning we got a call from the hospital that they were releasing Ethel to go to the nursing home.  Since she would have round the clock nursing there, she could leave the hospital sooner than if she were to come home.  Good news is that we visited the facilities available last night for Family Home Evening, then voted.  It was unanimous--Arbor View.  Orginally we weren't even considering this place because it has such a low score at medicare.gov web page that rankes all nursing homes in the US, however it is really close to our home, ( only 2 miles, walking distance) and so we felt we should at least look.  Besides it was on the way to the one that scored the best.  We were immediatly enchanted with the residents, who were proud to show us thier home.  They were friendly, cheerful and gave us the whole scoop on the nurses, activities, food, and the rooms.  They even gave us a guided tour, with several making sure we saw their room.  You see we went when we knew the nurses would be busy with report.  We didn't want to hear the sales pitch, we wanted to talk to the residents who lived there.  We felt it was a place of joy and a feeling of family.  Next we went to the facility that had the highest ranking.  I had a dark feeling.  The residents were encouraged to stay in their rooms if they were not involved with the current activities.  So I asked to see the activity schedule.  All the activities were bible study and prayer meetings of all the various denominations here in town.  OK so I don't really have a problem with bible study or prayer meetings, but that was the only thing on the schedule with the exception of St Patricks day and bingo 2 times a month.  The residents didn't seem to want to talk to us,  actually seemed somewhat fearful, I guess is the best way to describe it.  Also it took me going down 5 rather large halls to even find a nurse or a tech, the farther I got into the facility, the more it smelled bad.  Then when I found a nurse, only 1, he was yelling at one of the residents,  even I could tell she didn't understand what was going on.  We left.  Two of the other facilities in town,  I was visiting teacher to sisters who lived there.  I wouldn't send someone I hate to either of those places.  The last place, Bill makes deliveries to each week.  He wasn't impressed.  So she is at Arbor view--they welcomed her and immediately told her that she didn't need to be afraid.  They had felt the same when they got there.  When we left she was smiling, listening and watching those around her. 

 I feel good about this place.  It just feels right.  So why do I feel like the picture above--like I am being pulled in different directions?

For those of you who may be unfamiliar with this type of art, it is called fractal art and is made on a computer using math.  I don't know how, as math is NOT my strong suit, however I have loved fractal art for several years.  It seems to illustrate emotions very well and is just plain pretty.  Since I am one ball of really intense hormones right now and there is much of this art that looks like I feel inside, you will probably be seeing a lot of it over the next year or so--but that is a thought for another day.

Choices

This past weekend has been so difficult for us.  Ethel is in the hospital once again.  This time she was bleeding inside her digestive tract--a LOT.  Her vitals were thready and bad and she was very close to death.  Then on Sunday, she rebounded and is doing so much better.  That being said, her care is going to be so much more difficult and with my continuing health issues that will be another 18 or so months before I will be well completely,  we have had to make a difficult decision.  Ethel will be going from the hospital to a nursing home.  We have cared for Ethel to the best that is in us for 9 years.  Often we have considered the good of Ethel instead of the good of the rest of the family.  It is time to think of the good of the family.  This is the type of choice that is the kind that twists you up inside.  It was made prayerfully, and all in the family had a say in the final decision.  It is the way we work as a family.  I know it is time, but inside I feel like the picture above.  Tonight we will go and visit the facilities on our short list.  Then it will be time to make a decision.  My head hurts.