Hope

Hope Springs Eternal

This past week has been an adventure in hope.  Josh had his tonsils out 7 days ago.  For a teen this is a painful operation, but do-able.  For Josh nothing is ever simple when it comes to medical things.  Because he is diabetic, they didn't use the steroid that they usually us to keep down swelling.  Steroids and diabetes is a very bad combination--blood sugars act like they are on a roller coaster.  We went home a few hours after his surgery and as per doctor orders kept him pretty drugged.  Wednesday afternoon his throat was really starting to swell inside, so we pushed, forced, encouraged him to eat the Popsicles, and ice water to help reduce the swelling.  It helped a little bit, however by Thursday mid-morning we he started turning blue--fingernails, lips, skin was sort of grey.  Needless to say we rushed him to the Emergency Room.  They gave him a large bolus dose of steroid (and a couple of other meds I can't really remember as the days were starting to run together.  By that time I had been awake since early Tuesday morning.) Breathing is more important than blood sugars. Shortly afterwords he was admitted.  Well the roller coaster had begun, so by the next morning--Friday, Josh was transferred to Children's Mercy hospital in Kansas City.  I have to say that Bill and I both were rather relieved as Children's Mercy is where his diabetic doctors are, and the fact of the matter is that there is such a feeling of hope that you feel as soon as you walk in.  Not too long after we got there, it was decided that Josh would receive another even bigger bolus of steroid and a better pain medicine as well. The rest of Friday and all of Saturday was sort of rocky.  During the early hours of Sunday, Josh's blood sugar stabilized, and we were able to return home early Sunday evening.  At that point I still hadn't slept (fact is I didn't leave his side for more than bathroom breaks pretty much) I want to say that all of the doctors and nurses at both hospitals worked really hard.  They are a rare breed, doctors and nurses--I am thankful for their dedication, but most of all for their compassion.  Josh is doing better and will be able to join his brother and sister at school next Monday.

I have spent a lot of time in hospitals with Josh over the years.   As we were on our required walk abouts (Children's Mercy believes that children heal by doing "normal" things and NOT staying in their rooms, so as long as they are not in isolation, they are expected to go on walk about, even if it is a parent pushing a wheel chair.  The hospital is built for children's exploration, with not only play rooms in each section, but a library, music room, teen room and many halls of art to engage their interest, many courtyards to rest, read or visit with those who come to see you.)  Anyway while we were on our walk abouts, we met and visited with many other  parents and children, some who had spent years being in and out of hospitals like us, others who were brand new.  It filled my heart with joy to help some of these new parents.  Show them where things were, help them with their fears.  The general feeling though was one of hope--even with one girl I learned of.  She has been in the hospital for 5 months.  She has cancer and will probably not live for much longer.  She is a fantastic piano player and her parents have had a piano put in her room.  Downstairs in the main "Moon Lobby" is a grand piano.  I am told that even though she is weak and in great pain, she tries to go downstairs and play the grand piano once or twice each week.  I asked why she did that when there was a piano in her room.  Her parents told me that it because it gave others hope and joy, and that was all she had left to give.  The courage of these sick children fills me with amazement.  This is just one story, there are many.  I guess Josh is one of those now, as new parents were sent to talk with us about our journey in and out of hospitals since his birth.  It is humbling and yet I am continuously amazed at Josh's courage. 

Which brings me to other events--School started this past yesterday.  So far we are encouraged and are looking forward to a full and rewarding year. 

Looking forward, I now have 2 more weeks until I start school.  I am so excited that I can hardly stand it, and yet I am scared too.  It is a new beginning--a time to look to the future.  I fell in love with this picture recently, and was quite surprised when I found out that the name of it is "Looking to the future"