Challenges

Usually I don't write of challenges here on this blog.  Fact is, that I don't usually write of challenges even in my journal.  It is as if somewhere in my mind I feel that if I don't record their existance, then the event just didn't happen.  This portrays a false view of life as life is made up of both the good and the bad.  How we deal with both is part of the great test that this life is made up of.  While talking with a friend this past week, she asked why I didn't write of these things on my blog?  She lives close to me and can see the daily challenges and felt that by not writing of them I was cheating my children of learning how to deal with these things.  I didn't feel that way as my children are right here with me.  She said it wasn't for now that I should write, but thier future.   From the standpoint of what I write, both here and in my journal, I am a head in the sand sort of person, only thinking of the good things, and ignoring the bad things.  In fact I am not.  I prefer to meet most things in this life full head on.  In addition, in not writing of these things, I cannot tell of what we have learned or the wonderous blessings that we have recieved because of these trials.  So I will try to write of these things more starting today.  For those who look toward my blog to see the pictures of my children, sorry.  For my children who read both this and my journals, and for my friends, perhaps someday you will face some of these same things and perhaps it may be some small help to you. 

Each day our lives are filled with contrasts.  Things that bring us down and things that lift us up.  Sometimes when we are going through a difficult time, we only see the things that bring us down.  In doing this we forget that life is meant to have joy and that we should seek that joy each day.  I have been on bedrest for the past 9 weeks.  I have a rather large hernia in the middle of my lower abdomin that my bowel slips out of when I move very much, as in walking, going up and down stairs, or doing any of the normal day to day things.  In addition I have 2 growths also in my lower abdomin (one doctor calls them tumors, another cysts and the 3rd just calls them unidentified growths--I have named them Trial and Tribulation in my twisted humor.)  Together they are about the size of a 10 lb baby.  (at least that was the size 6 weeks ago, my belly has grown 2 more inches since that time, measuring as you would for pregnancy, while at the same time I have lost weight) These put more pressure on the hernia that they are right above and cause pretty much constant pain.   Why haven't they been taken out and the hernia fixed you might ask?  The answer to this question has many facets.
1.  While it is painful, it isn't life threatening as long as the bowel doesn't become strangleated (is that a word?)
2.  It is Christmas time and my doctors have been on vacation. 
3.  Since this requires the coordination of 3 doctors (1 general surgeon, 1 GYN surgeon, and 1 primary care doctor) they have all been in and out of town.  They will all be back in January and have booked the OR for January 21.  I had no idea how difficult it was to schedule around so many doctors, but they have lives too.  My GYN is from Portugual and has gone home for Christmas for the first time in 5 years.  How awesome is that!!
This is the trial.  It isn't just my trial, but one for my entire family as they are doing my chores which includes taking care of Ethel (never easy)

Last weekend another friend asked if I was bored and was rather shocked when I looked at her and said "who has time to be bored?"  My life is full, managing home and family from my bed.  Why the bed and not the couch?  The bed is specially made for my arthritis and so other aches due to bedrest are not as much a problem as when I go downstairs to the couch.  So what do I do all day.  

1.  Read my scriptures
2.  I write letters to people--someone every day.
3.  Make sure that the days menus are ready and who is going to fix dinner.  This job has been mostly fulfilled by Josh and Daniel so this step usually requires me to write out a step by step direction guide for cooking dinner.  They are really getting good
4.  Fold any laundry that someone has brought up to my bed and dumped out.
5.  Call anyone that I feel inspired to call each day.  Someone who might need cheering up.  I make this a matter of prayer.
6.  Knit
7.  Direct the children in Ethel's care, their homework, and any other project they may need help with.
8.  Watch movies, read books or listen to good music.  I have listened to all of our CD's and have put them in catagories--good for traveling, working, calming down, energizing, feeling better, etc.
9.  Practice the games that my children have been teaching me.  Each of the children have decided that it is time for me to learn not only traditional games but some of their favorite games.  Josh is still a bit disappointed that I can NOT seem to get past level 8 on Chicken Invaders.  I am working on it Josh, I promise!!

Surprises and blessings that have happened because of this trial so far. 
1.  Each day the children come up and tell me of their day.  This is not new, but right now it seems as if they have more of my individual attention.  Playing the games with them each has been nice as they seem to be giving me more of thier time as well.  Jess comes home from the pool each day and straight up the stairs to tell me of exactly which drills she did and how she is fairing. 
2.  I am finding great joy in the scriptures.
3.  Talking with people that need cheering up, keeps me connected as well as cheers me as well
4.  Josh and Daniel are becoming really good cooks.
5.  I know beyond any shadow of any doubt that Family is everything in this life.  Family includes those family lines you are born into, those you live with, those whom you pray for and pray with, and those who become family of your heart.  Interestingly, from my point of view, it is pretty much anyone I interact with.

So basically what I really want to put forth today, is that life is precious and full of joy.  YOU just have to search it out each day. 

Now for a bit of something different (well I think it is different) 
In Matthew 4: 18-20, The Savior calls Simon Peter and Andrew to be apostles and to follow him.  We are given the same invitation to leave our nets and follow Jesus.  So I asked myself, If the Savior came today and asked me, would I leave my nets to follow Him.  What are my nets?  I decided that my nets are my daily chores, work, my pride, pressure from those I associate with.  Two thousand years ago they left everthing to follow the Savior and their testimony was burned in thier souls.  Last week in Stake Conference, President Vancomen(our mission president) challenged the missionaries and the rest of us to read the Book of Mormon once again,  we're to begin on 1 January 2010 and finish on the last day of February.  We haven't even been asked to leave our nets, just to make room in the boat for this challenge.  I accept this challenge and put forth to all of you out there to accept it as well.  It will give your day joy and make your testimonies stronger.  So I am throwing this out there to the vast web.  I don't know if anyone besides my sister and daughter reads this, but here it goes out to the vastness of the internet world.